


to pierce the heart of a prince

by starsofthenightcourt



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Assassin!Yuuri, How Do I Tag, M/M, Prince!Victor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-10-25 22:24:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10773696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsofthenightcourt/pseuds/starsofthenightcourt
Summary: "Tomorrow, he was going to kill Victor Nikiforov.Today, he needed to find an outfit fit for a royal ball."In which Yuuri is an assassin, assigned with the task of killing the crown prince, Victor Nikiforov.





	1. the dead of night

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first fic ever! I saw some fractured fairy tale writing prompts on tumblr, and this AU wormed its way into my head. I couldn't stop thinking about it, so it had to be written. I have never done creative writing before, so I hope that this won't be too bad and I'll improve as I go! Find me on tumblr [here](https://starsoftheicerink.tumblr.com/).

There was a note on his table. Yuuri didn’t have to read it to know what it said. Like all the notes he found around his house, it would request his presence at the square fountain at 1 o’clock. Not that he would actually go to the square fountain, it being too public a place for the business he had, or that he would leave the house at 1 o’clock, when such business was to be discussed at midnight. Not necessarily because Yuuri cared much about whether he met with his employer when it was light or dark out, but rather because Caligo seemed to have taken a great liking to midnight. With him, everything always happened at midnight. Yuuri had once tried to point out that being so predictable could one day get him in trouble, but his employer would have none of it. He had simply replied that midnight was his trademark. The note in itself would mean nothing if anyone found it, because it didn’t say anything that was actually true, but to Yuuri it meant that he had a new job.

Donning his coat and closing the door behind him, Yuuri went out to arrive at the old, empty warehouse which had somehow turned into an assembly hall for Caligo’s employees. It was excessively big, considering Caligo usually only met with one of his employees at once, and for those meetings a small office would be plenty enough. But then, Caligo liked things to be unnecessarily grand, just for the sake of it being 'poetic’. As Yuuri walked into the vast, open space which held precisely one desk and two chairs, he found his employer staring at him. Or perhaps he was staring at Yuuri’s wet shoes and the trail of water he had left behind.

“Eris.”

Yuuri took his seat opposite of his employer.

“I have to say, I’ve been expecting a note for quite a while. I’ve had nothing to do for two months.”

“Ah, yes, but you’ll get plenty money from this next job. You won’t have to do anything for years if you don’t feel like it.”

“Who is it?” Yuuri asked.

“Victor Nikiforov,” was his reply.

“As in, the _prince_ Victor Nikiforov?”

“What other Victor Nikiforovs do you know? Yes, the one of the royal family.” Caligo looked tired and unamused as he said this, apparently not in the mood to waste time on things Yuuri already knew and talk for longer than strictly necessary.

Yuuri did not know any other Victors, and his knowledge on the Victor he _did_ know was lacking. He knew precisely two things about Victor Nikiforov. One: he had silver hair. Two: everyone in the whole kingdom thought he was attractive. Yuuri had never seen the prince, but had trouble believing that those two things were both true at the same time. Who could have _grey_ hair, because silver was just a pretty way of saying grey, when he was only 27, and still look beautiful? The whole kingdom probably kept up this ruse to stay in the prince's good graces.

Yuuri wasn’t stupid. Killing the crown prince would bring lots of complications, not only for him, but also for the kingdom. The kingdom would lose its beloved, anticipated king, and for a few years there would be no-one to take the throne until Yuri would come of age. The king who ruled now was rapidly declining in health, and only retirement would help him. Killing the prince would bring chaos. Yuuri didn’t know much about the prince, or why anyone would want him dead, which is why he brought himself to ask: “Who wants the prince dead, and why?”

Caligo shook his head. “You know I can’t disclose information on who hired you, that’s confidential. The why, however, I can explain. Someone from within the palace has leaked some of the plans Victor has for when he takes over his father's reign. As it turns out, those plans could well burn this kingdom to the ground, and with it all the people who live here. Killing the prince is the only way to ensure the safety of our fellow citizens.” He continued speaking about the plans Victor had for the kingdom, Yuuri listening apprehensively at first. He wasn’t someone to believe everything he was told about others, living his life as an assassin.

He knew people weren’t always who they seemed or who others told them to be. Yuuri himself was a great example of that. Apart from his friend Phichit, no one knew how he scrambled to earn some money. No one would think that the graceful dancer he used to be had become one of the most skilled assassins of the kingdom. He had shadowed many mercenaries and gang leaders to prepare himself for the kills, which had always provided him with the knowledge that whomever was going to end up dead, his or her death would be for the greater good. He wasn’t like the many other assassins in Caligo’s guild, who killed people for the sake of killing people and the adrenaline rush. Yuuri didn’t enjoy his job, strongly disliked it in fact, but he could live with himself if he knew one kill would save other lives. In this case, however, he had only his employer’s words to trust and there was no room for his own judgment.

It would be difficult to even get close to the prince in order to kill him, let alone to spend weeks tracking his actions so Yuuri could form his own opinion on whether the prince was worth killing. He had to trust Caligo. It probably wasn’t very wise to trust the leader of an assassin’s guild, and Yuuri felt reluctant to do so, but Caligo had been right every other time. Surely he would be right about the prince now?

“What will happen when he’s dead, aside from all the chaos?”

“Well, since Yuri will be unfit to reign, a regent will temporarily take the throne, someone appointed by the king himself. I suppose he won't drastically change anything, except wait until Yuri turns 21.”

“Won’t Yuri just carry out his brother's plans anyway? How do you know he’s any better?” Yuuri was unsure whether killing just one member of the royal family would really change anything at all. Not that he was offering to kill the whole royal family while he was at it, he was simply doubtful of the situation.

“Siblings aren't the same person. Victor and Yuri are as unlike each other as we are, Eris. We simply trust him to do better than his brother. If things turns out differently, and he’s just as bad, we can always pull the same trick in a few years.”

“If I manage to pull it off now, you mean.” Sure, Yuuri had had difficult targets before, but none of them were as unattainable and guarded as the prince would be. He knew he was skilled, but he also knew that entering a royal palace would be bordering his limits, and then he still had to kill the prince.

Caligo narrowed his eyes. “Sure you will. Don’t pretend you’re not as good as you are. Besides, half the plan’s already there for you. You only need to decide exactly _how_ you’re going to take the prince's life, and then get his attention and get him to speak to you _alone_.”

That was new. Before, Yuuri had always just gotten a name and a 'see you when you’re here to collect the money’. Caligo never bothered to help plan the course of action, it was always up to Yuuri how and when he did what. “Okay,” said Yuuri, suspiciously dragging out the syllables, his eyes narrowed. “Then tell me how I’ll get into the palace, without sounding any alarms.”

“The ball, of course.” Caligo looked at Yuuri as if he had said something stupid. Right. The ball. Yuuri had forgotten about it. The whole kingdom had probably been looking forward to it for weeks, swooning at the prospect of glimpsing the prince in real life, with a chance of actually meeting him. But Yuuri wasn’t the whole kingdom, dreading any elaborate type of social event. A ball certainly was that. Which is why the thought of him attending had never crossed his mind, until Caligo had planted it there. “But that- that’s tomorrow.” Usually Yuuri had at least a week’s notice if someone had to be killed by a specific date.

“Today has only just begun. You’ve got more than 40 hours to think about how you’re going to kill the prince. You’re not saying that’s not enough for you, are you? Now, I’ve got other business to attend to.” He glanced at the door pointedly. Apparently, Yuuri had wasted enough of his time.

Yuuri gave a small nod, walked away and reached for the door. He hurried his way back home, rain soaking his coat. A job was a job, and Yuuri was running low on money.

Tomorrow, he was going to kill Victor Nikiforov.

Today, he needed to find an outfit fit for a royal ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for reading! Secondly, any tips on writing are welcome! English is not my first language, and even though I'm fairly confident, there may be some ill-phrased sentences or grammar mistakes, so feel free to point out if you come across anything I've missed out on in editing!Lastly, I hope to update this fic every week, but since I'm actually in the middle of studying for my graduation exams, things might take a bit longer so I can't promise you anything.
> 
> P.S. Eris isn't a typo, it's a play on Eros. Eris is actually a goddess of strife and discord, a daughter of Nyx, the goddess of night. You may have noticed Caligo is latin, it means darkness. I just liked how those names worked together!


	2. a clock strikes twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri attends a ball and decides silver and grey are definitely not synonyms when describing hair colours.

Yuuri stood in front of the steps to the palace, guards standing stoically along the sides. As he ascended the stairs, he could hear the music and the people inside the palace. He took a deep breath and entered, the space already buzzing with what seemed to be as many people as would fit. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself, everyone seemed to know at least one other person, but Yuuri had come alone and didn’t feel like being pleasant and social when he had come here to kill the prince. Whose attention he needed to grab, somehow, as a plain man in between all these elegant people who looked so at ease, as if they attended royal balls weekly. Maybe they did. Just so he would have something to do, Yuuri walked over to the refreshments and grabbed a glass of water, content to stay on the side and watch.

Yuuri had had trouble falling asleep that night, thinking about how he was going to kill the crown prince, mulling over all the ways in which things could go wrong. Yuuri wasn’t a stranger to such thoughts, he’d had fitful nights before because of certain jobs. However, it was never quite like this. In the morning, he had gone out with Phichit to find an outfit, the town buzzing with excitement over tonight. Yuuri, though, felt only nerves over the evening. His assignments had never been as well known and protected as Victor was, and so there had never been any reason to worry about a guard, much less a _royal_ guard. Now, though, if he messed up, if they discovered anything about him, he would be in deep, deep trouble. He didn’t think there was a way to escape the royal guard if they were after someone, not even if that someone was ten times as skilled as Yuuri. They were a force to be reckoned with.

A hush fell over the space, speech turned to excited whispers, people moving their gazes towards the ornately decorated double doors that had yet to be opened. Yuuri guessed it were the guards who had straightened up and now looked awake who had alerted everyone to the prince arriving in a matter of seconds. A voice boomed, announcing his arrival, and the doors opened to reveal Victor Nikiforov.

Yuuri stared. So it _was_ possible for a young man to have silver hair (because, Yuuri understood now, as he stared at Victor’s hair, that silver and grey were in fact _not_ the same thing and Victor’s hair was _definitely,_ shiningly silver) and look absolutely beautiful. He stood transfixed, realising belatedly that everyone around the room had dropped into a curtsy or a bow, and that he was supposed to do the same. He was too late, though, and the prince had already caught Yuuri’s gaze. Yuuri felt a blush creeping up his neck, when he brought himself to break his stare and move. A way to get the prince's attention, sure, but now the chances of getting to talk to him had become impossibly slim. Surely a prince didn’t waste his time to talk to those who outright and rudely _stared_ at him and then forgot to bow?

Glass of water still in his hands, Yuuri only moved when he saw the rest did. When he looked up, he noticed that the King, the Queen and the younger prince had joined Victor. Victor waved for everyone to continue whatever they had been doing, a smile playing around his lips. Yuuri wasn’t sure where to go. Walking up to the prince now would be disrespectful and straightforward, but he couldn’t count on the prince to talk to every guest at this ball. Making his way outside to cool his flushed cheeks, he thought about the best course of action. The prince and he had to be alone, otherwise Yuuri would risk discovery, but Yuuri had to be careful not to seem too eager to get him away from his party. Plus, the guards had to trust him just enough so that their attention would waver enough for Yuuri to slip the powder he carried into Victor’s drink, counting on Victor to carry around a glass of _something_. A flaw in his plan, possibly, because Victor probably wouldn’t be walking around with a drink all the time, but it was the only discreet way Yuuri could think of.

Yuuri didn’t know how long he stood at the railing, looking out over the palace garden, thoughts on the task ahead. He startled when someone in a cream-coloured suit took place next to him, eyes widening at the sight of the prince. Really, Yuuri was usually more alert than this, but his anxiousness had made him tune out his surroundings.  He gave a small bow of his head, gaze on the floor. “Your Highness.”

“Nice to meet you-” said the prince, a questioning look in his eyes, his hand outstretched.

“Yuuri.” He took it, Victor’s palm warm against his own.

“So, Yuuri,” Victor tried, the sound of his name oddly satisfying when Victor said it. “What brought you here tonight?”

“You, of course, your Highness,” Yuuri said, avoiding those cerulean eyes that curiously bored into him. He disliked lying, wasn’t very good at it, for that matter, but this, at least, was the truth. He motioned to the people inside the palace. “I think that’s why everyone’s here.”

Victor’s smile seemed to falter just a little at that, but Yuuri wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been looking at Victor’s lips. God, he needed to stop staring at the prince. “Ah, so you’re not just here for the free champagne? And please, drop the formalities, it gets tiring for you to say that every second, and for me to hear that all the time.”

Yuuri showed his empty hands. “I guess I would have been off dancing drunk somewhere now, if I had taken advantage of the free drinks.”

“Would you like a drink, then? It’s on me.” As he said this, Victor winked _,_ and Yuuri could feel the blush that spread across his cheeks.

“Uhm. Just- just a glass of water will do. Thanks.” Yuuri guessed Victor was trying to  leave politely, so he could get caught up in the attention of all the guests on his way to the drinks, and have a reason not to return.

“Water? A pity. It would be fun to see your drunken dancing.” Victor’s smirk as he turned away was already insufferable, and Yuuri had only had to endure it for a few seconds.

A few minutes later, Victor returned, two glasses in his hands, one of which he handed to Yuuri. “I opted for the champagne. These balls can turn quite boring if you’re hanging around sober all night,” Victor said. “Though I guess you wouldn’t know.”

“Who says I haven’t been to a ball before?”

Victor looked at Yuuri as if to say _come on now, have you seen yourself_ , but said: “I say so, I would have noticed you if you had been here before.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes, then turned his head to look out over the garden. “Right. between all those hundreds of other guests.” Maybe it was rude to roll your eyes at a future king, but he couldn’t stop himself. Partly because it was something Eris would do, that confident persona Yuuri took on when he was working, but also because he needed to mask his anxiety and his thumping heart. Because under Victor’s gaze, Yuuri had difficulty keeping up that air of confidence, since it felt like Victor could see right through it anyway.

“I’m serious. You’re not saying you _have_ been here before, are you?”

Yuuri looked back up at Victor with a defeated sigh, to which he responded with a triumphant smile. The prince raised his glass, clinking it to Yuuri’s. “To all the balls I may host in the future, and the hope that you will be there to attend them.”

“Who says I want to visit this place ever again?” Yuuri felt a strange sort of satisfaction from the twinkle in Victor’s eyes. Victor hummed. “I’ve got the whole night to convince you otherwise, don’t I? Maybe it’s slightly less awful here than you think.”

“Maybe.” And then, at the end of the night… Yuuri felt slightly nauseous. He wasn’t used to talking to those he was supposed to kill, getting to know their voice and their smile and the way that they were so _human_ . He had to remind himself that this was all just a façade, a prince with a mask that he had learnt to wear since he could barely walk, that had fit itself to him as if it _were_ him, pleasant and smiling and beautiful, to hide the cruelty underneath.

There was one thing he didn’t understand. Why would Victor spend his evening showing some nobody around the palace, when there were hundreds of people who demanded his attention, who would be more interesting to talk to, more useful to talk to? But Yuuri couldn’t voice his protests, this being his only chance of getting close enough to the prince.

“Well then, come on. I’ll show you the back entrance.” Victor lightly tapped Yuuri’s hand that rested on the railing, breaking Yuuri out of his thoughts.

* * *

 

They had now ended up in the back of the garden, looking out over bushes of blue roses and green carnations, a bench dimly lit by the lanterns that stood a few metres away. Victor had picked up two glasses of water, which now stood precariously in between them on the bench. There was a comfortable silence around them as they both stared up at the sky. Yuuri thought about how easy it would be, now, to slip the powder into Victor’s drink, when he wasn’t paying attention. When he trusted Yuuri enough to have sent the guards a few metres further away. Victor wouldn’t notice anything, he would enjoy the rest of the evening, he would go to sleep, but then, he would never wake up.

Yet somehow, this trust that he put in Yuuri, the prince who was supposed to be distant and cruel, but who seemed to be more _alive_ with each passing second, it felt too _real_ to break. Yuuri just couldn't bring himself to think about actually taking that powder out of his pocket. To put an end to a life that seemed to only just be regaining its vibrance. He wasn't sure why it was such a problem to him now, when he had ended so many other lives. Maybe it was because all those others, their lives had been grey and bleak, but this one, Victor’s life, it seemed to be muted hues of blue and pink and yellow, and those colours, they had so much potential to grow into the colours of a sunset sky. Yuuri didn’t want to be the one to stop that, to spread poison through Victor’s veins when he deserved life to flood through them. He didn’t know why he felt Victor deserved it, because he didn’t _know_ him, but he did, and it seemed wrong not to trust his instincts, when his instincts were what he relied on most of his life.

Maybe it was a mistake to go against Caligo, dismiss his orders, but he _had_ to, and he wasn’t sure how he’d get away with it, but he had to, he couldn’t just–

“Yuuri?”

“Hmm?”

“What are you thinking about?”

Yuuri realised that probably too long had passed since he had said something, the quiet maybe not as comfortable to the prince as it was to him, the prince who seemed to enjoy talking to Yuuri until his ears fell off and who hadn’t allowed for much silence throughout the evening.

“Tonight, I guess.”

“What about tonight?”

“I… It’s just– different from what I expected.”

“I see. I guess you wouldn’t expect to be given a tour of a palace wing by the prince himself, no.” Yuuri felt Victor turn beside him, but wasn’t quite ready to face him yet.

“Right. I was expecting more... dancing with strangers, less talking to the crown prince.”

“Ah, you could’ve said, there are plenty strangers to dance with. You could go now and dance all night if you wish. I’ve got to warn you, though. Most of them are probably drunk, or close to tears because they expected to have had at least one dance with a royal, or both,” Victor said, sounding amused but also _not_ , as if he felt guilty for disappointing some his guests.

“I can’t imagine they would enjoy dancing with the one who stole their prince from them for the night,” Yuuri mused.

“But if dancing with the one who stole the prince means dancing with someone who looks like you, I think they would forget to care.”

Yuuri hoped that the dark was enough to hide the blush that crept along his skin. Eager to escape Victor’s shameless flirting, he asked: “Aren’t you obligated, though, to dance with at least a few of them?”

“I suppose that is what is expected of me, yes. But there’s no actual obligation, and my little brother, who can dance just as well, and is perfectly able to take my place while I excuse myself. I mean, since the ball was arranged in my honour, I am allowed to have fun.” The way Victor said it, it sounded more like a question.

“And dancing with strangers isn’t fun?”

“When you have to do it at least four times a year, every year since you were able to dance, I would say spending time with you is much more fun. Besides, I’m technically supposed to be looking for suitors, and I don’t think I can get to know many people during a dance.”

“And you’ve gotten to know a lot of people not-dancing, talking to me the whole evening? You could talk to people while you’re dancing, couldn’t you? Or would it take too much effort to talk and dance at the same time?” Yuuri finally allowed himself to look at Victor, who had the corners of his lips turned up into a small smile. He didn’t understand why Victor would waste all his time showing Yuuri a few rooms of the palace, especially if he was supposed to find some people he could potentially _marry_ . He didn’t understand why Victor was still seated beside him now, when he had something more _useful_ he could be doing than talking to the man who was supposed to end his life.

“That’s one more than I’d have gotten to know otherwise. And, I’d say all those years of practice have rendered me quite able to dance and hold a conversation at the same time. But, if you don’t believe me, I could show you,” Victor said, his smile changing into a hopeful one. In the distance, Yuuri could hear the clock tower chiming.

“I– I don’t– Maybe some other time. I should leave, soon.” Yuuri tried to ignore the tug he felt at his heart at the sliver of disappointment that flitted over Victor’s face. He _should_ be leaving. If he wasn’t going to kill the prince (he _couldn’t_ ), he would have to get his stuff and get out of his house, hide somewhere, because Caligo would find out and he wouldn’t be happy about this, and then he would find Yuuri, and Yuuri didn’t know what he would do. Now was as good a time to leave as later, because then Yuuri wouldn’t be hijacking the prince’s time anymore, and maybe Victor would go dance and talk to some people like he was supposed to. And, Yuuri supposed midnight wasn’t such a bad time to leave his life as Caligo's assassin behind.

“Really, I need to go, now. I– I’m sorry.” Yuuri couldn’t bring himself to look Victor in the eye when he rose from the bench and turned away, afraid to see that _look_ on his face again.

And then he ran, because he didn’t want Victor to call after him, he didn’t want to look back and see Victor staring after him, Yuuri’s glass of water untouched and abandoned next to him.

Yuuri fled the palace and ran home, and then he fled his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter, finally! It took me a while, because of finals, but it's here! I hope I'll be able to update sooner now, but I can't say for sure because of work and trips and whatnot. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Find me on tumblr [here](https://starsoftheicerink.tumblr.com/).
> 
> English is not my first language, and even though I'm fairly confident, there may be some ill-phrased sentences or grammar mistakes, so feel free to point out anything I might have missed during editing!


	3. the lullaby prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri hides and Phichit puts his gossiping skills to use.

Yuuri knocked on Phichit’s door once, twice, three times. He waited, the one bag he had packed in his hands, still clad in his suit, his hair disheveled from running. Phichit opened the door, looking only slightly surprised to see Yuuri there.

“Hey. Uhm. Is it okay if I stay here for a while?”

Phichit let Yuuri in, trailing in behind him.

“You know you’re welcome. What is it?”

“I… can’t go home anymore. It’s… a long story. I’ll tell you later, you should probably go back to bed.”

“You haven’t embarrassed yourself so much that you need to flee the kingdom, have you?”

“No, no. Well… maybe? I wouldn’t call it an embarrassment, though maybe fleeing the kingdom might be necessary.”

“And you’re only telling me tomorrow? Yuuri–” Phichit said curiously, pouting.

Yuuri cut him off with a sigh. “Really, it is a long story, not even a fun story, and I would rather just sleep right now.”

Yuuri was glad Phichit wasn’t one to push him. He understood when Yuuri needed space, and would give it until Yuuri was ready to open up.

“Alright. You know where everything is, make yourself comfortable. See you in the morning.” Phichit searched Yuuri’s face for a moment, concern in his eyes. Then he yawned, and turned around to his bedroom.

Yuuri found his way to the guest room, took off the suit that had become stifling, changed into pyjamas, and settled on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, unable to sleep, even though the adrenaline rush had now faded and he felt weary and tired. It was just this feeling that he had done something _right_ , something he didn’t feel bad about, but he felt like he _should_ feel bad about it, because he had ignored Caligo’s orders. Ignored them because he _thought_ Victor wasn’t as bad as Caligo had made him out to be. Which wasn’t really a reason at all, nothing he could explain to Caligo, because it wasn’t as if Yuuri was that good at reading people. For all he knew, Victor could have been putting on a front, playing the ever charming-prince, as was expected of him, without Yuuri noticing because he was so good at it, because Victor had maybe done that for all his life.

So now, he had to hide because he had spared someone's life, the _prince’s_ life, and it was frustrating, because he didn’t know if he had done the _right_ thing. He also didn’t know how he could hide from Caligo long enough. Surely, all his employees would find a way to find out who Eris really was, now that they had a reason to bother, that he was called Yuuri, and that his best friend was called Phichit. They would find out where he lived, find them, and Yuuri was no match for them if they were together.

He didn’t want to expose Phichit to them, or his family, he _couldn’t_ do that, but he also didn’t have the money to leave the kingdom and build a life elsewhere.

Eventually, Yuuri fell asleep, dreaming of cerulean eyes, a laugh like music and warm hands holding his.

In the morning, Yuuri woke to the sounds of Phichit making breakfast. Phichit was always up bright and early, whereas Yuuri preferred to sleep until it was no longer socially acceptable to sleep, if possible. He changed into a set of the few spare clothes he had brought, put on his glasses and headed to the kitchen.

Phichit was making pancakes, his back turned to the door, a tower already stacked on the plate next to him and the bowl of batter almost empty. Hearing Yuuri approach, he turned and motioned for Yuuri to take a seat.

“I figured you’d need a little pick-me-up if yesterday evening was as bad as you made it seem. That does mean you owe me the whole story, though.”

“I already told you I would tell you,” Yuuri sighed. It was too early to be discussing this situation he had gotten himself into.

Phichit waved his spoon, pointing it to Yuuri, drops of pancake batter dropping on the floor. “But now you can’t leave out any of the details. I made you pancakes, you spill. Easy.”

Phichit set the pancakes and syrup on the table, took his place opposite Yuuri and added: “It’s okay if you eat the pancakes first, before they get cold, but afterwards I need to–”

“ _Yes_ , Phichit, you made your point. You want to hear _everything_. I will tell you everything, don’t worry.”

They ate in silence, Yuuri not in the mood for small talk and Phichit not wanting breakfast to take any longer than necessary. The earlier they were finished, the earlier he could hear Yuuri. Yuuri reveled in the sticky sweet meal, not having had pancakes in a long time, and Phichit’s pancakes were always so _good_. He wasn’t sure if after all this, he would ever get the chance to eat them again.

Half an hour later, their plates clean and the table empty, Phichit eyed Yuuri, who was rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses and sighing, for what seemed to be the millionth time that morning. He laid his hand on Yuuri’s arm.

“Hey, if you don’t feel comfortable telling me, you don’t have to. You know that, right?”

“No, no, that’s– not it. You have to know.”

Yuuri spoke. He told Phichit about how he needed money, how Caligo had finally offered him a job. How he had embarrassed himself but somehow managed to get the prince to speak to him anyway, how the prince had seemed genuine and not-that-bad, and that he was enjoyable to be around. He may have left out _how_ enjoyable, exactly, but that wasn’t relevant, was it?

(And maybe it had to do something with the fact that he was a little scared to admit to himself that he _had_ enjoyed it, being around Victor.)

He told him that he hadn’t been able to do it, that Caligo was probably on the hunt for him, that he had to leave but didn’t have the money. The words coming faster and faster, the next one slightly more panicked than the last.

“I don’t know what to _do_ , Phichit.”

Phichit had listened patiently, taken Yuuri’s hand somewhere during it all, and now squeezed it gently.

“Yuuri, you’re _Yuuri_ . You’re _Eris_. You’re smart and skilled and basically able to make yourself invisible. You’ll figure something out. And I’ll help you. You did the right thing, you know. Not doing something you’re not comfortable with.

“Who knows how you would have felt if you _had_ killed him. Who knows what would have happened, then. The kingdom in panic, you on the run anyway. Maybe there was some kind of plan behind it, something we don’t know.”

“That’s what I thought too, but it seems unlikely. Caligo’s explanation seemed logical.”

“Except for the fact that _his_ Victor and _your_ Victor didn’t exactly line up in character.”

“But that could just be because he’s a prince. Of course he’s had training in coming off pleasant and likeable. Maybe he’s just really good at acting. Also, don’t call him _my_ Victor.”

Phichit smiled slightly. “But you don’t _know_ that, Yuuri. I don't think Caligo has met the prince, so it’s not like he knows Victor. Victor might not have been acting. We should probably try and figure out more about him. I have a book on the royal family somewhere, you can spit through it. I don’t think there’s much on Victor in there, but we might be lucky. In the meantime, I can go outside and try to figure out what’s going on.”

“Yes, that's a good idea. I need to keep myself busy, anyway. Thanks Phichit. For helping me.”

“Anytime.”

“Could you maybe bring a letter to the palace, too? You can give it to one of the guards, or something.”

“Sure.” Phichit raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Confessing your love to your Victor already?”

“ _Phichit_.” Yuuri scolded, feeling a blush creeping up his neck.

He raised his hands in surrender, smiling. “Alright, alright. Here’s some paper and a pen. I’ll get my stuff and then I’m off. The book’s on the shelf somewhere, you’ll have no trouble finding it.”

A few hours later, Yuuri had skimmed through descriptions of many kings, queens and princes, some of them gone mad, but only a short mention of the prince’s birth. Yuuri himself had nearly gone mad. The hours wasted on useless information, his back aching and his eyes tired.

The door creaked and Phichit entered, a hint of triumph visible on his face.

Yuuri told him, before he would get too  excited: “This whole book was a waste of time, unless you’d like to know about queen Morosa’s dietary preferences. Did you hear anything useful out there?”

“I’ve heard things about Victor’s evil older twin brother, his magic powers, and about a group of power-hungry men. I’d say the most logical is his magic, don’t you? I’ve always said that magic _does_ exist, and now there’s proof in the form of Victor Nikiforov!”

Yuuri appreciated Phichit's humour, always trying to lighten up the mood, which was necessary around Yuuri more often than he’d like to admit.

“That about those power-hungry men though, utterly ridiculous. They said they wanted to take over the throne,” Phichit continued.

Yuuri thought about it for a moment. “I mean, Caligo _did_ say that someone would take over and wait until Yuri would be king, hoping that he’d take a different direction in his reign than Victor. And the regent would be someone who’s trusted by the royal family, not just anyone. Those men wouldn't be able to get that power they want.”

“That’s what I thought too, but maybe they bribed or blackmailed the regent? Or the regent is just not worthy of the family’s trust and out on power himself. I suppose we can only guess at the specifics, but it seems pretty likely, don’t you think? That it was a ploy to take over the throne?”

“If so, they’re certainly not the first to come up with something like this. It seems a little… too simple to work. We still don’t know anything about Victor, though. What he’s really like. If he’s really going to burn this kingdom down.” A small part of Yuuri hoped that the Victor he had spoken to was real. But for the most part, he had difficulty believing that that could be true. Wasn’t it more likely for the prince to be distant and cold and cruel? Because he had grown up on a pedestal, always looking down on the rest of the kingdom, always out of reach of every normal person, hardened by expectations and demands.

After reading that book, Yuuri had discovered that some rulers did have some crazy ideas. Victor would not really be an exception if he planned to turn over the kingdom. It wasn’t that unlikely.

Phichit shook his head. “Tsk. You thought I would forget to find out about him? It hurts to know you think so little of me and my gossiping skills, Yuuri.

“I delivered your letter to one of the guards, don’t worry, I didn’t read it, love letters are private, and got some information out of him. It might have taken some flirting, but information nonetheless.”

“Phichit.” Yuuri didn’t know if he was reprimanding him for calling the note a love letter or flirting with the guard. Probably both.

“What? He was cute. Besides, he didn’t say anything that was classified. It was nothing illegal.”

“Then what do you know? If Victor really were cruel, do you think that guard would’ve told you?”

“No, he’d most definitely be on Victor’s side. But, asking outright for character descriptions would’ve been too obvious, and the answer easy to manipulate. Now, the little things Victor does when he’s alone, those aren’t as easy to come up with on the spot and thus more useful for an insight into his character.”

Yuuri groaned, his head in his hands. “I don’t even want to know what conversation you had if you talked about the prince’s _habits_.”

“It was quite nice, actually. We didn't _just_ talk about the prince, but that’s besides the point,” Phichit said, smiling. “Do you want to know, or not?”

Yuuri begrudgingly nodded, not wanting to admit that he was actually quite curious.

“Okay. First of all, he sings lullabies to his dog at night, or when she’s half-asleep in the garden.

“Second, he thanks the guards whenever they hold the door for him, which is basically always, and has done so ever since he was able to speak the words 'thank you’.

“Third, he apologizes to inanimate objects if he accidentally walks into them.”

“Victor has a dog?”

“Apparently. Is that all you have to say?”

“No, I just–”

“There’s more if you want.”

“No, no, it’s fine. You got your point across. You don’t think he’s cold-hearted or planning to ruin this kingdom. I just don’t know– how can you be so sure? Who says all those little things mean anything?”

“Have you ever met anyone who apologizes to inanimate objects who _isn’t_ nice?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who apologizes to inanimate objects, so I couldn’t say. But honestly, how do you _know_?”

“I don’t. But you will have the opportunity to find out.” Phichit was smirking. Yuuri didn’t get how Phichit could be smiling and smirking all day when he himself was feeling so… unsure. Panicked.

“What do you mean?”

“The royal guard may or may not be looking for a dark-haired young man who wore diamonds on his suit to a certain ball.”

“What? They– and you only thought to tell me now? It’s not– _Phichit_ , it means they _found out_ . I won’t get to find out _anything_ about Victor because they won’t let me near him. I’ll be locked up at the least, or given who knows what kind of punishment that’s way worse than that. If you’d told me I’d at least have had the time to flee! I have to get my stuff–”

“Yuuri–”

“No Phichit, it’s not because the prince wants to see me, are you _crazy_ ? I talked to him _once,_ he’s probably forgotten about all of it, and now they’ve discovered that I was supposed to _kill_ him. Really, I need to _go._ Did you know the whole time?” Yuuri knew he sounded panicked, because he _was_ panicked. He didn’t understand why Phichit couldn’t understand. They wouldn’t put the royal guard on a search for someone just because the prince happened to like him. Which wasn’t even true. What was Phichit _thinking_.

“But Yuuri, you _didn’t_ kill him. You didn’t even _try_. They can’t prove anything, so stop worrying!”

“But they’re the royal guard. Surely if they think someone’s suspicious or possibly a danger to a member of the royal family they _can_ lock them up.”

There were one, two, three knocks on the door. Yuuri’s could feel his heartbeat in his throat. If they had heard any of that… Phichit at least had the decency to look a little guilty. Yuuri had trouble keeping his composure. Couldn’t they have waited a little longer to arrive here? Of all timings, this was certainly the worst.

There were two guards in the door opening, their faces unreadable. They looked at Phichit, then over at Yuuri and one of them said: “We’re looking for Yuuri. Though it seems we have finally found him.”

Yuuri had contemplated lying, which wasn’t his strongest point and probably not a wise thing to do, but it looked like it wasn’t even an option anymore. Of course they had to recognize him, even if he didn’t recognize them. Apparently, he hadn’t paid as close attention to the guards as he thought he had. Why had Victor been so _distracting_?

“The prince has requested a meeting with you.”

Phichit sent Yuuri a look that said _I told you so_ , but Yuuri didn’t think that a meeting requested by the prince sounded even the least bit reassuring.

“One of us will stay here to help you pack a few necessities, the other will return to the palace to send for a carriage. You’ll have an hour to prepare, and then you’ll have to come with us to the palace."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much difficulty coming up with a chapter name but suddenly this hit me and I was like wow it has a double meaning!! now i'm not so sure anymore but i dont have anything better and i felt i couldn't postpone the chapter soo here you go! hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> also, i hate it when i'm writing but my writing can't keep up with my thinking and these little bits of dialogue just... fly away into oblivion
> 
> Find me on tumblr [here](https://starsoftheicerink.tumblr.com/).


	4. a feeling forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the guards pick up Yuuri and Victor is a little stubborn

If he was honest with himself, Victor felt slightly stupid. He had only seen the man for  _ one _ evening, barely a few hours, and he couldn’t stop thinking about him. Which would be ridiculous, if it didn’t make him feel the way it made him feel. Besides, there was no harm in daydreaming, was there?

Yuuri was so… different from all the other people who usually came, and it had been so refreshing, to talk to someone whom he hadn’t talked to before, someone who was cute and endearing but also honest in a way most people weren’t. At least, not to Victor. Usually, they would spout nonsense they thought Victor liked to hear, always the picture of perfection, when the truth was that Victor would rather have someone pick a fight with him if that meant they said what they  _ wanted _ to say.

But Yuuri, he had been so out of place in that gigantic room, not because of how he looked, because he had looked handsome and noble and impossible in that damned suit with his hair slicked back and the dusting of red on his cheeks, Victor would know, but because he bowed just a little late, standing off to the side, fleeing the crowd when he could.

He had intrigued Victor, and Victor hadn’t been able to stay away, not even those few minutes he should have spent greeting the honorary guests. Which maybe had been a little disrespectful, but Victor couldn’t really bring himself to care, because talking to Yuuri had clearly been the better choice. 

Even if Yuuri had run away at the end of the evening, tripping over his feet, the glass of water Victor had gotten him untouched. Which had stung, a little, but it was also a relief. Because Victor had forgotten that that was something he could feel, that twinge in his chest, and now he had felt it, and it made him feel a little more alive, somehow. And that was because of Yuuri, and Victor believed that maybe Yuuri could make him feel as if he was living again. Naïve, possibly, but also worth the shot. Which is why he had sent a few guards to look for him. Ridiculous, probably, but also necessary. And until Victor could talk to Yuuri again, he held onto the little crystal in his pocket that had fallen off of Yuuri’s suit, clinging onto that reminder of life.

A kick to his shin under the table, a glare from his brother. Right. Maybe daydreaming during an emergency meeting with the royal guard wasn't the smartest thing to do. Especially not when it concerned his own safety. 

“Victor? Are you even listening?” Yakov looked irritated, maybe even a little concerned if Victor looked for it, though he would never admit it.

No, Victor wasn’t listening, but he had listened at the start of the meeting, so he nodded. It wasn’t as if he had missed anything because he hadn’t heard the discussion amongst the guards. He would hear what they decided, anyway.

Seung-Gil had come in with an anonymous note, apparently with an urgent message, addressed to His Royal Highness Victor Nikiforov himself. It didn’t say much, except that his life was in danger because there were people who wanted to get rid of him, and that he should be careful. Which wasn’t anything new, really. Victor had always known that there were people who disliked the monarchy, grown up with the reality that his life was never really  _ safe.  _ But now, apparently, it was more unsafe than usual. Because a  _ note _ said so. 

Yakov continued: “We think it best for you to stay inside the palace grounds as much as possible, where we are best equipped to ensure your safety.” The captain of the guard turned to Yuri. “Even though nothing is mentioned about your safety, we cannot take any risks and advise you to do the same.

“If you do decide to go out, you’ll need twice the amount of guards to go with you. Also, you won’t be able to stay out for longer than two hours.”

Yuri looked as unhappy about it as Victor felt. Not that they really went outside much, but Victor enjoyed it when they did. And now, this bit of freedom had been taken away, at least partly, for who knows how long. There was no way to confirm or deny that someone was after him, and so there was no way to know when he was safe again.

After the meeting, Victor and Yuri sat outside. The other meetings of the day had been cancelled, given that everyone was now setting up extra safety precautions. Yuri grumbled about being unable to visit the pet’s shelter, which was one of the charity visits they did regularly because Yuri liked it, even if he would say that it was something he did because he had to do it, and that he didn’t enjoy it. Victor knew better, but was wise enough not to mention it.

“You could still go sometimes, you know. They didn’t say we couldn’t go out at all. You could go once a month instead of once every two weeks,” Victor said, even though Yuri wasn’t looking for a reply.

“And then they’ll make such a fucking  _ fuss _ about it. No thanks. I always feel like I’m being babysat with so many guards. I hate it.” 

“You’re  _ still _ not used to that by now? Come on, it’s not  _ that _ bad. I know you would prefer just one guard, but you know that just one guard isn’t enough.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Because you don’t care about anything doesn’t mean I don’t either!” Yuri said.

“Hey!”

“What? It’s true, isn’t it?  You act like you care well enough, but you don’t  _ really. _ ”

“I do care about things!” He especially cared about Yuuri, but he wasn’t going to say that.

“Yeah, you care about your people, your future job as a king, blah blah blah. You’re  _ supposed  _ to care about that. Is there anything that’s just your idea to care about? Or are you just pathetic?” 

Victor remained silent for a while. Then, he said, softly, “There are things I could care about. Things I would like to care about.”

“Then why don’t you?”

Because he was afraid that if he let himself care enough, he would start caring too deeply. Afraid that caring too much might break him, someday. He couldn't say that out loud, though. So he stayed silent, clenching his jaw. He stayed silent for too long.

“Whatever, old man. I’m going to get some food.” Yuri stood up and stalked away, anger still visible in the way he moved.

A few moments later, Victor noticed Chris approaching. One of his personal guards, also his best friend. 

“Victor, they found that man you were looking for. Yuuri.”

Victor sat up, excitement replacing the gloom that was there before. “Is he here?”

“Not yet. We gave him some time to pack. I thought you’d want to know.”

“Can I come pick him up?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Victor. You  _ did _ listen during that meeting, didn’t you?”

“Yes! But you can just bring some extra guards, can’t you? I’m sure not a lot can happen if I’m in a carriage. I just think that maybe it’s not great for him if he’s whisked away by royal guards like that. I imagine he’s worried and I could explain–”

“And you’re sure you’re not just incredibly impatient?” Chris smirked. 

Victor opened his mouth, but found he had nothing to say. He closed it again. It wasn’t as if Chris wouldn’t have realised. When had Victor ever sent out guards to search for someone he had met the night before? When had he ever sent out guards to look for someone, period? 

“That’s what I thought. I’ll see what I can do. Most guards are busy right now, after all.”

Victor smiled up at Chris, thankful, but knew that when Chris got the chance, he would never hear the end of this.

Half an hour later, Victor was seated in the carriage, guards on horseback in front and trailing behind. Maybe it was a little excessive to go with them, but Victor genuinely wanted Yuuri to feel comfortable and not like he was being dragged off because he had done something wrong.

When they arrived, Victor knocked on the door, a reassuring smile on his face. Or so he hoped. It wasn’t Yuuri who opened the door though, but Seung-Gil seemed to recognise the man who did. The dark-skinned man sank into a polite bow, and Victor could spy Yuuri in the hall behind him, baggy clothes and hair mussed up. Now, he wasn’t too late with his bow, this time, but the bag he carried fell off his shoulder and he awkwardly tried to catch the strap before it would hit the floor. He failed, and that blush reappeared. Victor couldn’t help but smile a little wider, a little more genuinely. 

“Nice to meet you,” Victor addressed the man in front of him, who took his hand.

“An honour to meet you as well, Your Highness. My name is Phichit, I’m a friend of Yuuri’s.” He gestured behind him, a bright smile on his face.

“Yuuri! Good to see you again.” Yuuri gave a small nod of his head, not quite looking Victor in the eye. Victor could feel the nerves radiating off of him. It  _ had _ been a good idea to join the guards in picking him up. Or at least, that’s what Victor told himself. 

Seung-Gil piped up next to Victor. “Is this the same friend who sent that letter?”

Yuuri’s eyes widened, and he seemed like he wanted to disappear. Phichit exchanged a look with Yuuri, then realised that that look had already given him away. He sighed and reluctantly said: “Yes, that’s him.”

Now, Yuuri just studied his feet, though Victor wasn’t sure why. There wasn’t anything wrong with having sent that note, was there? Why didn’t Yuuri want them to know? 

After a moment of silence, Victor didn’t seem to be great with words today, though he usually was, one of the other guards announced they would have to leave soon, or risk exposure in being out for too long. Victor knew they had to, but was slow to move his feet. Maybe that was because he was staring at Yuuri a little too hard, thinking about how to make him feel a little less uncomfortable. He came up empty. What had  _ happened _ to his abilities to communicate and put others at ease?

He moved his feet in the end and offered to take Yuuri’s bag, startling him. Shaking his head, Yuuri mumbled he could do it himself. Victor took it anyway. He was raised to be a gentleman, wasn’t he? Plus, it was a great excuse to brush his hand against Yuuri’s. 

Maybe Yuri was right. He  _ was _ pathetic.

After Yuuri and Phichit had said their goodbyes, Victor led Yuuri to the carriage, motioning for him to go first. He still wouldn’t look at Victor directly, but Victor was hopeful that he could talk to him in the carriage, explain what was happening. Not that he really had a really good reason except for  _ I like you even though I barely know you _ and he knew that that wasn’t an actual explanation and that it sounded creepy and would scare anyone away, but he would come up with  _ something _ .

Yuuri took the few steps to get in, but whirled around on the last one. His eyes wide, he called: “Victor, watch-”. Before he got to finish that sentence, his face crumpled in pain.

Then, Yuuri collapsed, and the only thing Victor could do was catch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victor POV!! I have to admit I had a little (quite a lot) of difficulty writing this chapter and I'm not too sure why, and ended up staring at it for so long that I just decided to post it to not have to stare at it any more. Hope you enjoyed!


	5. the fallen, asleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is time for Yuuri to tell the truth.

It had been poison. It had been poison and it had been meant for  _ him _ . And now, instead, Yuuri was in bed, eyes closed, unmoving. Alive, but only just so. All because Victor had been stubborn and stupid. So, so stupid. He had just wanted to have some tea with him, walk around the gardens, talk. And now he had almost been  _ dead _ . The only reason he was not was because they were lucky to have had the antidote. Victor didn’t know what he would have done if something even worse had happened to Yuuri. Not that he knew what to do now, with Yuuri asleep. Yuri had been yelling at him to pull it together and do something that  _ wasn’t _ waiting in the room Yuuri was in until he woke up. But, truth be told, there wasn’t anything else Victor could do. He didn’t want Yuuri to wake up when he wasn’t there, because then he couldn’t apologize and he couldn't bear the thought that Yuuri wouldn’t know how sorry he was. Because, after all, this was completely his fault.

Victor sat and paced and stared. Itched to take Yuuri’s hand and feel his wrist if his heart was still beating. Listened intently to hear his slow breaths. He knew, rationally, that Yuuri was alive, that he would be okay, but he looked so  _ still _ , and it couldn’t be right that he was sleeping  _ that _ long.

A few hours later, after Yuri had come to drag Victor to dinner because “Mom said you have to eat” and had ensured that Victor was eating enough, Yuuri moved. His brown eyes opened, slowly, and glued to Victor, who had leaped from his chair but stopped himself from getting too close because he didn’t want to invade Yuuri’s space. Or rather, he wanted to, but thought that perhaps Yuuri wouldn’t appreciate it.

He couldn’t stop the torrent of words that escaped him, though. “Yuuri! How are you feeling? I’m so, so, so sorry, Yuuri. This is all my fault, if I hadn’t been so irresponsible–”

“Shh, it’s okay, Victor,” Yuuri cut him off, his voice soft and his eyes squeezed shut. Maybe Victor had been a little too loud. “I’m okay. Tired, but okay.” He peeled his eyes open again, tracing them over Victor. “Are you?”

“Yes, I’m unscathed. Thanks to you. You saved my life, and I don’t know how to thank you, I–”

“At least that’s one good thing I’ve done for you.” Yuuri smiled a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It made Victor a little uneasy.

“What are you talking about? Really, Yuuri, you don’t know half–”

“Not now,” Yuuri’s eyes were shut again, though not as tight, this time. “We’ll talk about it later, when we’re rested. You need to sleep, too, Victor.”

Victor’s yawn had given him away.

“But what if you need anything? My quarters on the other side of the palace.  _ Do _ you need anything?” His quarters weren’t really that far away. They were just down the corridor, in fact, but Yuuri didn’t have to know. He also didn't have to know that Victor just didn’t want to leave him alone.

Yuuri was silent for a while, and Victor thought that maybe he had fallen asleep, but then said: “Some water maybe. My throat’s a little dry.”

Victor was quick to supply a glass. Yuuri drank it gratefully. His eyes slipped shut again. Victor could just pick up the murmur that escaped Yuuri at the edge of sleep. “This bed is big enough for three persons, you know.”

He swallowed hard. Yuuri probably didn’t realise what he was saying. It was hardly appropriate. Victor should probably alert the doctor that Yuuri had been awake. But then, it was late, Victor really should sleep, and he didn’t want to leave the room. The bed was large enough for him to keep a distance between them that would allow for two Makkachins, and it looked soft and inviting. He took off his shoes, stretched out on top of the covers. He could feel some warmth coming from his left, enveloping him. Soon, Victor was fast asleep.

Yuuri woke, the light streaming in giving him a headache. He shut his eyes in an attempt to shut it out, but opened them again once he became aware of the breaths sounding next to him. Yuuri’s pounding head was momentarily forgotten when he saw Victor. He was still asleep, his formal wear on, the top buttons of his wrinkled shirt unbuttoned, his silver hair tousled upon his head, his face serene. He then remembered the night before, when he had woken and Victor had been there. How the look on Victor’s face, etched with worry and relief and fatigue, had made something inside Yuuri hurt. How Yuuri had apparently invited him into  _ bed. _ Had he said that out loud? God, how he hoped no one had come to check on them. Seen the crown prince in bed with the man who had been supposed to kill him and had almost gotten him killed. 

And then Victor believed Yuuri had  _ saved  _ his life. The only thing he’d done was lie to him and put him in danger. There was no saving involved in what Yuuri had done. Quite the opposite really, if Yuuri had somehow made Victor come to pick him up, put him in a dangerous position. Thinking about having to properly talk to Victor, to tell him the truth, it made the pounding in his head return twofold.

Yuuri didn’t know what Victor did or didn’t know. He wasn’t sure why he had come to bring Yuuri back to the palace. He had thought the worst, but if Victor was sacrificing his time to check on Yuuri for who knows how long he had been in this room, and willingly slept in the same bed, he couldn’t possibly know that Yuuri was an assassin.

The sheets rustled, Victor waking up. Yuuri felt that he should probably look away, but found that he couldn’t. It was the only time he’d get to see Victor wake up, anyway. It was okay to indulge in it. Or so he told himself.

Blue eyes were looking back at him. A slow smile spread over Victor’s lips. It was contagious, that smile. Raw and real and honest, unrestrained in its sleepiness. It made Yuuri smile a little, even though he didn't have much to smile about.

“You’re awake. Are you feeling any better?” Victor’s voice was rough with sleep.

“Not as tired anymore. It feels like someone is repeatedly butting me in the head whilst also stabbing me in the leg, though.”

Yuuri didn’t think he’d ever seen someone transform from a half-asleep human to a fully awake, functioning being, up on his feet, in such a short amount of time. And Yuuri had lived with Phichit, so that said something.

“I’ll get you something to kill the pain. You need to eat, too. I’ll find you some breakfast. I’ll be back in a minute.” He ran a hand through his hair, which did exactly nothing to smooth it back into place. He all but ran out the door, his shoes forgotten next to the bed, positioned perfectly straight, his jacket still hanging neatly folded over the back of the chair to Yuuri’s right. It must have been a sight, surely, the crown prince running through the palace like that. Or maybe it wasn’t such a rare occurrence. What did Yuuri know.

Moments later, the younger prince walked in. Yuuri hadn’t talked to him in person yet, so he figured he should do some kind of introduction.

“Oi, no need for that. I don’t want you to faint on me because you’re getting up too fast. Victor told me to get you two some breakfast, and I was getting some for myself, anyway, so.”

Yuuri decided not to comment on the growl that originated from Yuri’s stomach just then, and how he was only carrying two trays of breakfast.

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Yuuri said, inclining his head in some resemblance of a bow.

“Whatever. I’ll see you around.”

Mere seconds after Yuri had left, Victor returned with a glass of water and some painkillers, as promised. “There you go,” he said, handing them over to Yuuri, who had managed to sit up a little straighter and gotten his glasses from the side table. Victor had fixed his hair somewhere along the way, even though his clothes still looked as rumpled as they had before and his feet were still bare.

“The doctor will come in an hour or so to check up on you, she said it would be okay if you eat breakfast first. Do you want anything?”

Yuuri didn’t feel particularly hungry but knew that he should eat  _ something _ , so he settled for the toast with jam and some tea. Victor proceeded to put the jam on his toast  _ and _ in his cup of tea, but Yuuri didn’t want to linger too much on that. Thinking about it made him cringe a little.

“How long was I out?” Maybe the topic of an assassination attempt on Victor wasn't one for a light conversation over breakfast, but Yuuri decided to breach it anyway.

“About… two days?”

“What happened exactly? I don’t remember much, except for someone behind you shooting an arrow.”

“You got that arrow in your leg, the tip dipped in some kind of poison. Curare, I think.”

“Ah. Plant-derived poison that causes acute muscle paralysis. Possibly even death by asphyxiation through paralysis of respiratory muscles.”

A small nod in affirmation. If Victor was at all fazed by Yuuri’s immediate recognition and knowledge, he didn’t show it. “Right. We’ve been lucky that not enough of it entered your bloodstream to immediately kill you and that we had time to administer the antidote. There was something else, too. I’m not sure what it was, but it’s the reason you’ve been asleep so long.”

Yuuri nibbled on his toast. He wished Victor would ask why he knew about that stupid poison, so Yuuri could say  _ funny story, I was debating whether to kill you with it just a few days ago, because, you see, I’m an assassin who’s now hunted down by assassins just like you are _ . He wanted to be over with it. He dreaded the moment Victor would realise who he was and then leave. Then he would be alone in this room with his pounding head and his throbbing leg, no soft hands accidentally brushing his over a cup of tea. Maybe he would end up in the dungeons below, without the covers to keep him warm.

“How many arrows did they fire? Was anyone else hurt?”

“No, thank God. Nothing was aimed at the guards, and we were lucky that we were already almost in the carriage. I got you and me inside just in time. If we had been outside for a little longer, it might not have ended so well.” A slight pause. “I think the shooter must have been situated far away to avoid discovery, some of the arrows didn’t have enough speed to come near us. A few of the guards are investigating, but they’re coming up empty.”

They finished the rest of their breakfast in silence, thinking about what happened and what could have happened. Yuuri decided that he would tell Victor the truth after his last sip of tea. There were two sips left. One. A deep breath.

“Victor, I… There are a few things I need to tell you. I don’t know where to start, exactly, but I want you to promise me that you’ll hear me out. That you won’t… run away until you’ve heard everything.”

Victor kept his gaze intent on Yuuri, silently urging him to go on, silently promising him that he would stay. Yuuri looked down at the covers, looked back at Victor, and told him. Told him who he was, or, who Eris was, why he’d come to the ball, that he’d been hiding at Phichit’s place, that they were now both targets to the most notorious assassins of the kingdom. Victor’s expression was stoic through it all, Yuuri unable to read it.

He said, finally: “Thank you for trusting me with this, Yuuri. I think we’ll have to talk to Yakov and the guards about it, after your checkup. If you’re okay with that?”

Yuuri sighed. There wasn’t really a choice. If he wanted to keep Victor safe, which he did, then the royal guard would have to know. It was inevitable. So he nodded. “Yeah, that’s okay. I’d like to freshen up a little first, though. If that’s possible.”

“Of course! The doctor will be here any minute. I’ll get you some clean clothes and request a meeting with Yakov in the meantime.” Victor stood up from the bed.

“Oh, but there are some clothes in my bag.”

“You brought clothes?”

“Uhm. Well, the guards told me to prepare when they came to get me, and I didn’t know why, so I assumed… that they found out about me and that I’d be here for a long time.” It hadn’t occurred to Yuuri to ask why, in the first place, he had been summoned to the palace until now, so he added: “Why  _ did  _ they come to get me?”

A little bit of pink appeared over Victor’s nose. “I wanted to walk around the gardens with you, or to have some tea. To see you, I suppose. So I sent them to look for you. Which seems stupid, now. It could’ve gotten you killed. It almost had.”

“It didn’t seem stupid then, when you knew it could have gotten yourself killed?” Yuuri wasn’t angry, or frustrated. He just didn’t understand.

“No. No, it didn’t. I just felt this… need to see you after the ball. I hadn’t… I hadn’t had that much fun in a while. I figured that a small amount of time outside, unannounced, wouldn’t hurt.” Victor's voice had gone soft, and Yuuri wished he could see that vulnerability in Victor up close. Alas, he had no clue how to get up without immediately tumbling down again, and had embarrassed himself in front of Victor enough in the past few days.

Three knocks sounded then, and Victor opened the door. Told the doctor that Yuuri would like to use the bathroom later, then left to see Yakov.

The meeting had been tiring. Yuuri could tell that many of the guards were wary of him, not quite willing to listen to what he had to say. Which wasn’t surprising, really. Yuuri himself would have been apprehensive if the person who had been supposed to kill him showed up to save him instead.

They wanted to know why Yuuri hadn’t killed the prince, which was something he couldn’t exactly put into words. Or even if he could, it would probably be too embarrassing to say out loud, with Victor next to him and around 20 people listening. So he understood, he most likely  _ did _ come off as suspicious, but it was still frustrating.

They wanted to know about the rest of the guild. Who were in it? Who ordered him to kill the prince? It probably didn’t help Yuuri’s case to say that they were all anonymous to each other. That there was only one person who linked them all. That he wasn’t allowed to know who ordered which kill.

It was all very vague, Yuuri knew that. But he couldn’t tell them more than what he knew, and that just wasn’t very much. He wished that there was something he could do to prove that he was worthy of their trust.

After having had some dinner and a walk back to his room that had his leg throbbing and shaking, Yuuri was back in his bed again. Upstairs, with covers.The doctor had assured him that after some more rest, he would feel normal again. He had changed from his borrowed clothes, which were soft and comfortable but at the same time a little stifling in their luxury, into his own pyjamas. Victor stood next to him, taking Yuuri’s glasses from his hands and setting them down on the side table.

“We’ll figure out what we’re going to do tomorrow, okay? Maybe not everyone trusts you yet, Yuuri, but I do. You should know. I trust you.”

Victor had gotten hold of Yuuri’s hand, squeezed it lightly in reassurance. Yuuri closed his eyes and took a deep breath, felt the warm pressure of soft lips on his forehead.

“Goodnight, Yuuri.”

Footsteps moved away from him, the room plunged into darkness and the door closed softly.

Yuuri tried not to think about how he could still feel Victor’s lips lingering on his forehead, feel Victor’s hand entwined with his own, even though he was already gone. Tried not to inhale the scent of Victor's cologne that permeated the air. Tried not to think about the warmth on his right that had been there the night before that was now missing. He tried not to think about all of that, he really did, but it was a lost cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaah I'm sorry this took so long! And I also want to apologize for the sheer amount of sleeping that happens in this chapter. (The fic in general, too)
> 
> I've been working a lot and been on a holiday, plus I'm also moving for uni so everything's busy right now, which means that updates are a little slow. Sorry sorry!! I hope you enjoyed nonetheless!


	6. keep quiet about the impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri keeps ignoring things, either on purpose or not.

Yuuri woke to soft knocks on the door, a silver head poking through.

“Yuuri? Are you awake? The guard wants to talk to you again. I figured I’d get you some breakfast.”

Yuuri answered with something unintelligible, too sleepy to form an actual reply.

“Can I come in?”

Another sound, affirmative in nature. Victor nudged open the door with his elbow, a tray with breakfast in his hands. 

“Do you mind if I sit?”

Yuuri’s response is muffled by his pillow, his face buried in it in an attempt to block out the light. Victor perched on the side of the bed. 

“Not a morning person, I take it? At least, I figure you’ve slept off most of the fatigue by now.”

Yuuri didn’t bother to answer. It must have been clear by now that he wasn’t ready to talk. Maybe it was a little rude, but Victor didn’t really seem to care, filling the space Yuuri was supposed to fill with his own words.

“It’s okay. Take your time to wake up. Though, not too much time. Otherwise we’ll keep everyone waiting. They want to talk to you and have you tell them what happened exactly once more. They still don’t quite trust you. And apparently they also don’t quite trust me to know what I’m doing. Because it might all be part of your plan, or something. To sweep me off my feet and cloud my judgment.”

Which, to Yuuri sounded fair.  _ If _ he had been someone capable of sweeping a prince, a very handsome prince way, might he add, off of his feet. 

“Right. Must have been a plan with a lot of confidence in my looks, then.” Yuuri’s voice was still muffled, but at least he was able to form words.

“Hey. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“You mean to say that I’ve swept you off your feet? I don’t believe I’m that handsome when I’m drooling in my sleep.”

“Hmm. Not sure yet. I suppose a dance could help me decide about how swept off my feet I am.” Victor’s voice was teasing,Yuuri turned his head to see the smile playing around Victor’s lips. It was strange, Yuuri thought, that he knew that smile would be there just from the sound of Victor’s voice. 

“I don’t think my leg’s up for that yet.” Yuuri himself also wasn’t up to dancing with Victor when they would be the only ones dancing, but he wasn’t about to say that.

“But are you up for breakfast? I got us some fresh cinnamon toast.” Victor offered up a plate. 

Their breakfast was filled with idle chit chat, mostly about Victor’s dog, that Yuuri still hadn’t met..

Once they were finished, Victor cleaned up their plates. It was funny, how Yuuri had yet to see a servant anywhere near Victor. He seemed to prefer doing things himself. He even waved Yuuri away when he wanted to help.

“I need to go to a few meetings, and they won’t let me come with you anyway, but I’ll see you in the afternoon?”

“See you in the afternoon.”

 

* * *

Once Yuuri had laid out in detail who he was, where he came from, and what he’d done for the second time, lunch being served somewhere in between, he was finally able to return to his room. Maybe he’d get some more sleep, or read a little. Both of those options were out of question, though, when he entered his room.

“Phichit? What are you doing here?”

“They wanted to hear me out about you this morning. Nothing to worry about, they’re just figuring out whether to trust you or not. Though, it seems like Victor trusts you alright. Might even really like you.”

“How– what makes you say that?” 

“Your room’s at least twice as large and your bath must be triple the size of mine,” he said, pouting in mock disappointment.

“What do you mean? This is just one of the regular guest rooms, surely you’re in a similar one?”

“Regular guest room? Oh, Yuuri, those are one floor up. You’re sleeping in the same corridor as your dear prince. He didn’t say?”

“I– What? No. He probably just did it to spare me the walks up and down those extra stairs.” Yuuri motioned vaguely to his leg. “Also, as I already told you, he’s not  _ my _ prince.

“Hmm, right,” Phichit said, disbelief plain on his face, which Yuuri tried to ignore. There was no way Victor put him here for any reason that wasn’t convenience or some sort of payback. “How is your leg? And the rest of you, for that matter?” 

“Not great, but better than before. My leg will probably take some time to completely heal over, but at least I can walk. How about you? Did anything happen after we left?”

“I think I saw some people scouting the area, but I’m not sure. I’m not very well-trained in recognizing who belongs and who doesn’t. Nothing happened to me at least. The guard did decide to let me stay here, for a while, though. Deemed it safer than home.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come to your place knowing people might come to look for me.” 

“Oh, that’s alright. They’re not really out for me, anyway. I’m more worried about you. Besides, it’s a nice change of scenery. I like not having to prepare my own food all the time.  _ And _ the guards are cute.” Phichit seemed so sincere, like he really didn’t mind, yet Yuuri had trouble not feeling guilty. He was also kind of glad to have Phichit here, though. It was good to be able to talk to someone without feeling so aware of himself. The way he felt aware of himself when he spoke to Victor.

“The cute guard, huh. The one you flirted with in order to obtain Victor insider facts?”

“Yes! That one! Did you notice him?”

“I have to say I was rather too intimidated by all the guards to notice if they were cute or not, but it wasn’t too hard to guess.”

“But you weren’t too intimidated to notice Victor, were you?” Phichit looked way too pleased to have managed to change the subject to Victor. Yuuri merely groaned.

“Not this again. I admit, he’s handsome. But, he’s also not interested in me.”

“Not interest–” Yuuri put his hand over Phichit’s mouth the second he heard the knocks on the door. Whatever Phichit was saying was about to say was muffled, his eyes wide. Yuuri gave him his best impression of a threatening look while mentioning for whoever was at the door to come in. It was Victor. Which wasn’t really surprising, if Yuuri was honest. The only person to ever come visit him was Victor, since he insisted on bringing Yuuri all his food.

“Yuuri! You should come with me, your friend is here and- oh, he already found you.” Victor was cheerful as ever, immaculately dressed in a tailored jacket, slacks and highly polished shoes. 

“He did, and he’s being way too composed about being forced out of his house.”

“Ah. I still have to apologize for that. I suspect you will be able to return soon, once this situation is dealt with.”

“It’s really alright, Your Highness.” Phichit said, with a small bow of his head.

“How were the meetings?” Yuuri asked, “have they decided anything yet?”

“The meetings weren’t about that. They wanted me to return to the regular meetings, since I neglected those the past few days.” 

Which was news, to Yuuri. What had Victor done all that time Yuuri had been asleep if he hadn’t been attending meetings?

“But,” Victor continued, “I did ask on my way here. They haven’t really come up with a strategy yet, except put more guards on patrol around the area. It seems the others of the guild know that you’re not there, though. So it’s becoming more and more unlikely that they’ll stick around. They’ll probably move on to other areas.”

“Makes sense. I wouldn’t stick around for someone who hasn’t showed up in four days after I’d shot them,” Yuuri acknowledged.

“Exactly. So, we need to do something that would enable us to track down the other members before they all leave.”

“I suppose most of them have already left, if not all. It’s not like they haven’t got anything better to do.”

Yuuri’s brain was whirring. It was his fault that they were in this situation now, so he figured it was his job to do something about it. Or at least help. He was tired of sitting around without being useful. if he had no information that could be useful, he should at least try to come up with a plan that would be useful.

“What if I go back?” He said, after a few moments of silence in which the three of the were all assessing the possibilities.

It was dangerous, to go back. But it would lure out a few of the other assassins. And if he was right in thinking they would all be working together, then it should be easier to get access to information about the others. 

“You’re insane,” Phichit said at the same time Victor exclaimed: “that’s ridiculous!”

“I know, it’s not the safest option. But it is the quickest. And if we don’t work quickly, we’ll have nothing. We don’t have the time to figure out what’s safe  _ and _ effective.”

“But it might get you killed. Look what happened the last time you went outside.” Victor’s eyes were full of concern. He looked at Phichit in a way that Yuuri knew was to garner support.

“He’s right, Yuuri. It’s too dangerous if you’re having trouble to even walk.”

“It’s not like I haven’t had injuries before. I know I might not be at my best, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be good enough. I won’t be on my own. There’ll be guards to help me.” Yuuri wished they wouldn’t be so protective. Couldn’t they see that really it was the only way to end this?

“But Yuuri, you’ll be up against the most-skilled assassins. That’s madness.” Victor looked unhappier every second Yuuri wasn’t changing his mind.

“There’s a reason you were assigned to me, Victor. I’ll be okay.” Yuuri sighed. He wasn’t looking forward to it all, it would be difficult. Maybe it would be impossible. He wasn’t going to let the others know that, though. And he wasn’t going to back out.

Phichit seemed to realise Yuuri wasn’t going budge before Victor did. Victor opened his mouth to say something, but Phichit interrupted: “It’s not going to work, Your Highness. He’s already made up his mind. I don’t like it, either. None of us do. But he’s right. It’s probably the only thing that’s going to work. Unless you count putting yourself out there as bait, which I think we all know is not an option.”

“It’s- I just…” Victor sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut. After a few, long seconds, he gave in.  “Alright. I’ll talk it over with one of the guards. I can’t guarantee they’ll let you, though.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Yuuri. Shall we meet for dinner later? Chulanont, you’re also welcome to come, naturally **.”**

“Sure. We’ll meet you at 7 in the dining hall?”

“Alright. See you at 7.” 

Right when Victor left, Yuuri could see Phichit preparing to say something. Yuuri managed another glare, just in case Phichit was going to say something about Victor when Victor was still within earshot.

Phichit held up his hands which told Yuuri he would wait, while Yuuri put his feet on the bed and laid his head down on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling.

A few seconds later, Phichit said: “You can’t seriously not have noticed that he’s into you. God, Yuuri, do you think he would be so concerned if this were about someone else?”

“Of course he would! Anything this risky would make anyone think twice, no matter who was going to put themselves out there as bait. I’d expected nothing but doubt on his side. It would have been concerning if he’d given in just like that. Would have shown us he was heartless, after all.”

Phichit rolled his eyes but said nothing, laying down next to Yuuri, both of them staring up at the ceiling in silence.

“Do you think you’ll be able to take on the others?”

“Yes. No. I don't know, but I have to. I’ve trained fighting with injuries. I’ve killed people when I was worse for wear. I should be okay.”

“But?”

“But those people I killed didn’t have the same training I did. They weren’t prepared. These people, however… they know the same moves. They’ve been waiting, itching to fight me all week.”

“You’re crazy, Yuuri. But you’re also really good. You’ve just got to try your hardest and kick their asses. And remember you’re not alone.”

“I will,” Yuuri promised.

 

* * *

Dinner took a long time. Or rather, they spent a long time talking over the specifics of Yuuri's plan after dinner in the dining hall. Phichit retired to bed, telling Yuuri: “I’m gonna go to sleep in my room. Where I’m a guest. That room one floor up. You know, the guest room.”

Yuuri once again chose to ignore what Phichit was saying, opting for a polite goodnight instead.

Victor walked with Yuuri to his room. Which was, if Yuuri believed Phichit, close to Victor’s own room, apparently. Distracted by Victor laughing at something Yuuri had said, beautiful and melodic, Yuuri didn’t notice it until it was too late. Something decidedly heavy and warm running into him, knocking him over. 

“Makkachin!” Victor scolded.

If Yuuri had been able to stand steadily on his two feet, he could have avoided laying sprawled out on the floor like this. And since he wasn’t able to put a lot of weight on his bad leg, he was obliged to take Victor’s outstretched hand in order to get up.

“Are you okay?” Victor’s eyes were once again full of concern, but when Yuuri nodded in confirmation, the hints of a smile showed up.

“I’m sorry about Makkachin, she can be a little too enthusiastic sometimes. Especially if she likes someone. And she’s bound to like someone I like so much.” 

“So you’re Makkachin, hmm? You’re very pretty, you know that?” Yuuri cooed, squatting down, scratching the dog behind her ears. Makkachin stared up at him, tail wagging, tongue lolling out of her mouth. 

“She  _ is _ very pretty,” Victor agreed. “A certain little brother begs to differ, though perhaps that’s more because of me than because of her.”

“Yeah, that’s more than likely. Someone must be crazy to call her anything but pretty. Right, Makkachin?” Yuuri was still crouched in front of her, even though his leg was starting to protest heavily. To gain purchase, he reached up and grabbed Victor’s arm, heaving himself up.

Once he realised what he was doing, he could feel his face reddening. “Oh. Uhm… I’m sorry. I should’ve asked first! I’ll–”

Before he could remove his hand from Victor’s arm, Victor put his hand over it.

“It’s alright, don’t worry. You can lean on me.” Victor seemed adamant about keeping Yuuri’s hand where it was, so Yuuri gave in and kept it there, where he could feel Victor’s warmth and muscles underneath the starched fabric of his suit. 

Victor smiled at him. “Good.”

They continued down the corridor, Makkachin trailing behind them. Victor said: “You know, once you feel up to it, you could come with me when I walk Makkachin. It seems like you two get along.”

“That… That would be nice, yeah.” Not that there would be many of those, Yuuri thought. Because when this mess they were in was sorted out, he would have to go, and that was best to happen sooner rather than later. Yuuri didn’t  _ want  _ to leave and he had nowhere to go yet, but still. The quicker this was over, the better.

“Here we are,”  Victor said.

“Here we are,” Yuuri repeated dumbly. They stood in front of his door, his hand still on Victor’s arm, the door yet to be opened. “Thanks for walking with me.”

“Of course.” Victor smiled warmly at Yuuri, and Yuuri didn’t want to think about what that smile did to him.

“Yuuri, I… You should know that I honestly appreciate that you’re going to do this. I really wish you didn’t have to, and I think you might be a little insane doing it, but I won’t stop you. I guess I just… want to thank you and let you know that I really mean it. So, thank you.”

Victor's eyes bore into Yuuri’s as he spoke, but Yuuri averted his to the floor once Victor finished talking. He felt a little uncomfortable being thanked for something he hadn’t even accomplished yet. Who knew what would happen, maybe there would be nothing to thank Yuuri  _ for _ . As if Victor thought Yuuri might not be here to be thanked afterwards. And yes, Yuuri  _ knew _ this was crazy, but he wished others didn’t know. He wished he could make himself believe he could do this, and that that would be enough, and that others wouldn’t remind him of how difficult it would be. Because it  _ would  _ be. 

The only way to get it done was to believe he could get it done, and until he believed it himself, he had to make sure at least everyone else believed it. “Thank me later, Victor. I’ll be fine.” He smiled what he hoped was a confident, reassuring smile. “Goodnight.”

He then opened the door, rueing the fact that he had to let go of Victor, and started mentally preparing himself for a night without much sleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. this was supposed to be an action chapter but now it's here and it's still not? I kept telling myself it's because of keeping a consistent chapter length (except really it's because I don't know how the hell to write action). Which is why this fic keeps getting longer and longer and longer than it was supposed to be because really there isn't enough worldbuilding for this to continue on. Yet, here I am. The most unrealistic thing about this whole fic is that it takes days for Yuuri to actually meet Makkachin, to be honest.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!! (Also, I hope you still remember what the hell was going on because I almost didn't (uni life is just very busy because everything is new and weird and also a little stressful but I'll be okay))

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Find me on tumblr [here](https://starsoftheicerink.tumblr.com/).


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